You Almost Had Me Once
By Isabella Olalia
To Siñot Thoughts,
I have seen you pierce your paddle into the heads of those
I love most and into my own
Sometimes you sail in whispers
When my spirits are higher than the sinahi of my smile
You arrive most often though when the stars fill i langhet with its
Scintillating pinprick points of sand
Keeping us from the comfort of slumber
Offering only a frigid Marianas Trench ache in our chests
Eyes pokpok with salty ocean waves and you are so
VEHEMENTLY BOMBARDING
I have forgotten the målinao swing of my breath
Already inching to take me away from myself
You almost had me once;
Thoughts boiling into action
The ma’lak hope I held onto for so long
Felt like the last shrimp patty
Gone
because I felt too mamåhlao to take it
Guiding hands have taught me how to squeeze batter into oil but
Your cacophony continues to course through my veins so
I command you
Cease the incessant ebb and crash at our shorelines
For our limestone is gof metgot but can only take so much before it breaks
Embark on a voyage out of the softest crevices of our brains
Seek shelter in a place of change
Come back only as guinaiya or as warm åhu to fill my belly
Sincerely,
Someone Who is Still Alive
You Almost Had Me Once (Translation)
To Siñot Thoughts,
I have seen you pierce your paddle into the heads of those
I love most and into my own
Sometimes you sail in whispers
When my spirits are higher than the sinahi (new moon) of my smile
You arrive most often though when the stars fill i langhet (the sky) with its
Scintillating pinprick points of sand
Keeping us from the comfort of slumber
Offering only a frigid Marianas Trench ache in our chests
Eyes pokpok (swelling) with salty ocean waves and you are so
VEHEMENTLY BOMBARDING
I have forgotten the målinao (calm) swing of my breath
Already inching to take me away from myself
You almost had me once;
Thoughts boiling into action
The ma’lak (bright;glittering) hope I held onto for so long
Felt like the last shrimp patty
Gone
because I felt too mamåhlao (ashamed) to take it
Guiding hands have taught me how to squeeze batter into oil but
Your cacophony continues to course through my veins so
I command you
Cease the incessant ebb and crash at our shorelines
For our limestone is gof metgot (very strong) but can only take so much before it breaks
Embark on a voyage out of the softest crevices of our brains
Seek shelter in a place of change
Come back only as guinaiya or as warm åhu to fill my belly
Sincerely,
Someone Who is Still Alive
Isabella “Sabet” Olalia is a young CHamoru/Filipina activist, weaver, student, and poet who dedicates her time to keeping the culture alive through her various mediums.
